Thursday, October 4, 2012

Why hate on the 50′s?

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The derisive idea du mois: “That’s not M/s, it’s just a 50′s style marriage with kink”
Is a 1950′s household model the new “loser” in M/s circles? Allow me to posit, dear Reader, that most of the time, our day-to-day lives do, in fact, look quite a bit like a traditional 50′s marriage. i *, wake up, *,  lay out Sir’s clothes, *, serve His coffee, *, and He goes off to work. Then i *, putter around, *, *, *, and clean the house, *, *, get everything i need together for dinner, *, serve Sir His drink when He arrives Home, *, *, make dinner, *, serve dinner, *, tidy up after dinner, *, finish up things left undone during the day (if i get to it), *, spend, *, some , *, time, *,  with Sir, *, and then go to bed.

(*- take care of the wee one.)
i suppose, to some, that seems pretty boring (i daresay, even vanilla) and not as “hardcore” as, you know, real M/s. i am rarely ‘punished’ (His disappointment is enough), Sir is more likely to grant any of my requests than deny them (i’m spoiled), and He is very sweet and loving and kind (i had a wonderful Mother’s Day, and Sir brought Home a rotisserie last night so i didn’t have to cook because i’ve been sick for days). Hell, we only get our “kink” on but rarely, in the whole sense of a long, drawn out scene type deal.
But, we are what we are. Sir doesn’t need His control to be overt, i think He prefers it to be inherent. As nice as it would be to have Him giving me my working orders for the day, every day, that’s not what He is looking for. i have to make my own to-do list, He wants His Home to be run, and run well, without Him having to worry about it. There are certain things i am to ask Him about first, but everything else i am entrusted to figure out myself. Sometimes i forget things. Sometimes i’m not completely focused on Him. Sometimes tasks are left unfinished.
So, why all the contempt? i think, when the novelty wears off a bit, the relationship has settled in, and real life needs tending to, that most M/s relationships start looking like a 1950′s-style household, at least a majority of the time. Perhaps, where all the disdain comes from is being afraid that kind of comfortable routine means a rut, or stasis in the relationship? No idea. i, myself, am grateful for the days our life together looks (mostly, minus the stray hair tug or face slap) like the Cleaver’s, because it means i have served Him satisfactorily, the day didn’t have any surprises or crises, and there is nothing He wishes me to actively learn or improve upon that day. Which is not to say i don’t wish we could live the fantasy all the time, but who doesn’t? i think, sometimes, access to similar personalities drives us to live through comparison rather than within our own context.
i am His slave, His Good Girl™, every day, and it doesn’t much matter what that looks like at any given time, does it?

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