i can honestly say, lately, if anything, i have not been on top of my game. Sometimes it just seems there aren’t enough hours in the day, but i let that overwhelm me rather than digging in and getting the proverbial “It” done. In my case, “It” is not really that complex, there’s protocols (…eep), the morning routine (which i’ve been failing to observe as of late), chores (most of which get done, most days), and, well, whatever else Sir says (this, i’m pretty good at). So, my mantra being obey-serve-love-excel, i’m really not excelling at much of anything, here. Actually, i’ve been sort, well, whiny.
Monday night, Sir had a work emergency He needed to attend to. It required a good deal of His concentration, and i wanted to be as conducive to that as possible. i began well, getting the children bundled off to bed, setting on music, making sure His drink was filled, that. Then, i froze. i couldn’t, for the life of me, remember how i was to behave in this situation. Granted, i have it somewhere, in writing, how i am to act when Sir is working like that. Still, i had no clue. i had not really experienced being in this type of situation before. So, i asked Him, in doing so shattering His concentration at what appeared to be a pretty crucial juncture.
Sir wasn’t angry at me, but i could tell it had irritated Him. i was simply mortified. i think, Dear Reader, even though i technically did nothing wrong, i felt just as terrible as if i had wilfully broken a rule. i had a chance to shine, to serve Him with poise under pressure, and to give Him a reason to be proud of me, and i blew it completely. Knowing i missed that opportunity is truly painful. i’ve been dwelling on it, and really, all i should be doing right now is buckling down on the basics, because, you know, you need a cake before you can frost it. Or something.
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