Thursday, October 4, 2012

Drudgery and Discovery.

These past few weeks have been very…service oriented. Serving Sir, housecleaning, childcare, all that.  We had a pretty intense weekend, with a lot of ‘firsts’, but that only served to make me want that interaction more. Needless to say, i’ve been having a bit of “all work and no play makes bells a dull gal” blues.

So this morning i was a bit down, dragging my ass a little, and over our second round of coffee Sir asked, “What’s the matter, slut?” i looked down and shuffled my feet a bit. He asked again. If there is anything Sir detests, it is repeating Himself. Finally i managed to blurt out, “i want You to play with me!” He smiled at that, and sent me off to fetch His rope bag.

Oooh, my favourite. i closed my eyes and tried to fall into the whisper of the hemp against my skin as He tied, but i was too eager. i knelt when i should have stood, turned before He wanted me to, oh i was clumsy like a virgin in the back of a 70′s Chevrolet. He finished, and made me stand so He could take a picture. My face reddened, as it always does under the scrutiny of that eye, but i followed His instructions, and waited.

He turned me sideways, slapped my ass until i yelped, and commanded me to kneel.

i knelt in front of Him, but i was unsure. “What is it now?”, He demanded.

“i don’t want…this…You…because i asked, Sir”, i stammered.

That was apparently incredibly amusing, as He grabbed a loop of rope, yanked me close, and chuckled, “I don’t do anything i don’t want to. Suck my cock, slut.”

Which, of course, was an order i was all too happy to comply with. i set about His cock, relishing the feeling of it sliding between my lips. i was just falling into the trancelike zone where it was just my mouth-His cock, and rhythym, when He yanked my head up.

“Lunch, slut.”

With a smack on the ass i was sent to the kitchen.

The rest of the afternoon was spent serving Him as i usually do when He’s at Home on a weekday, being His table for lunch, housekeeping, a place to rest His feet while He worked, keeping His drinks filled. Not sexy fun time, just service as usual (in rope!).

Instead of being disappointed, though, i marveled. The kind of inner knowing i found brings a bit of an epiphany glow. i’m amazed by the revelation that even when He’s being nice, or indulging me a little, it’s always for His own ends, and, once again, what i want is irrelevant to His desire.

i thought what i wanted for was a bit of a beating, but what i need, always, is the knowledge He will get what He wants from me, no more, no less, and it’s comforting to know i will never be lost as to what that is, because He’ll tell me when He’s taking it. With that knowledge, i dive into service to Him with renewed happiness.

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