Thursday, October 4, 2012
It is common teaching that good writing requires a strong introductory paragraph, something to draw the reader in, and defines what the writing will be about. There will likely be none of that here. Sir has decided i should keep a blog, and so i am. i can’t say i am necessarily thrilled with the idea, writing in and of itself intimidates me, and more so writing so others can see. i don’t feel i have much to say, nor any talent with the written word, so i find this to be a rather difficult requirement. Please, Dear Reader, bear with me, as this post and undoubtedly many to follow will consist mostly of “stream of consciousness” writing until i am a bit more confident in my abilities. Also please excuse the appearances of this blog, it is, as i am, a work in progress.
i suppose this is the part where i provide the answer to that big question, “who are you?”, even if i don’t have a very good answer for it. The short answer is, i am His. His Good Girl™. That is the title He’s bestowed upon me, trademark and all. It’s funny, how seeing the capital letters and the trademark, looking at it, makes me feel like i should make sure i don’t have “made in Taiwan” engraved somewhere on my person. But it fits, i am His favorite toy, and that is how He has named me. He takes very good care of His toys. i seldom want for anything, and sometimes i can honestly say i feel downright spoiled. For example, i will be receiving a very pretty dress in the mail rather soon, and i don’t necessarily feel i deserve it. Wait. The fact of the matter is, i don’t deserve it, it’s not even really my dress. i didn’t get the dress because i wanted it, i got the dress because He wanted me to wear it. There’s been a new rule instituted recently that i am to wear pretty dresses in His presence, and soon i will be sewing my own wardrobe, so He doesn’t have to get any more. i’m still excited for the dress.
Looking back on the past year and a half, the difference between where we were and where we are is startling. A year and a half ago, we were simply friends. Unbeknownst to each other at the time, we were both “crushing” on each other. i have no clue how neither of us managed to see it. A year ago, almost exactly, we started “dating” officially, but by that time had already fallen madly in love with each other. Amazingly, the relationship dynamic looked absolutelynothinglike it does now. In the beginning, before we were “official”, Sir was my student in energy working. i had a pretty authoritative role, there.
Slowly, quietly, undetected, that just…shifted. Without any real overt effort on His part, i fell under His control, simply by the virtue of His superior will. The more i got to know Him, the more i idolized Him. His intelligence, His power, everything about Him made me want to be His. i don’t think we even discussed defining our relationship in M/s or O/p terms, at first, it simply…happened. By the time we began to talk about definitions, parameters, and all the rest of it, i was already framing my existence around serving Him, attending to His wants and needs, with no thought as to a reward, for pleasing Him was it’s own reward for me
We had a slow and steady “trial run”, and this past November, Sir placed His collar around my neck and declared His ownership over me. Our vows and the ritual closely resembled a handfasting, and was just as, if not more, powerful and binding. We basked in the honeymoon glow of it, for a while, welcomed a new addition to our family, and now, Sir has decided the real work will begin. He’s told me that i am His Good Girl™ and He wants to make me His Perfect Girl™. i want that too. i don’t believe i’ll ever be a perfect person, far from it, all i desire is to be perfect for Him.
If you wish, Dear Reader, i invite you to follow me on my impossible quest to become His perfect possession. There will be laughter and tears, tribulations and triumphs, and a good deal of tripping over wayward stones and sticks. Which will be fun, at least, to watch.