In Connecticut, 2008 i was bitten by a tick and was diagnosed with Lyme Disease (without a blood test, as my entire body was covered in EM rashes). In a serious lapse of judgement, I did not finish the prescribed course of antibiotics. i was 21, invincible, and i felt fine. i had since moved to another state and seen multiple doctors for knee pain and swelling that they "could not explain". One suggested cortisone shots or exploratory surgery, another prescribed narcotic painkillers. None would even entertain the idea that my inflamed, painful knees, a classic sign, could possibly be caused by Lyme. i suffered from headache, debilitating fatigue and a degeneration in cognitive function, though i never consulted a physician on those issues. i figured i was just getting old(er).
On the second weekend in June, we took a trip to visit my family in
Connecticut. i was on the lookout for ticks, but when i returned i
discovered a tick attached to my hip area. i removed it, and kept an eye
onthe site. I was alert for any signs of Lyme, and after two days of
aches, fatigue, and knee and neck pain, i once again discovered multiple
EM rashes, and went to the ER on June 27. The doctor immediately
recognized the infection, and upon hearing my history, grudgingly wrote
"active and possibly recurring Lyme Disease" on my papers. i
was prescribed an antibiotic course of 100mg Doxycycline, twice a day,
for 21 days. i was discharged with instructions to consult with a
physician after 5 days of antibiotic treatment if symptoms did not
It is now day 6, and i feel worse than i did the day i walked two
blocks to the nearby ER. i couldn't walk that far today if there were
zombies about (although they may mistake me for one of their own), and
yesterday i could barely crawl up the stairs. The doctor we consulted
with said this was a classic Herxheimer reaction, a glaring sign that
Lyme Disease has disseminated through my body. It will need to be
treated aggressively in order to rid my body of those nasty bugs, once
and for all.
We've begun the process of getting to see a specialist, and we're
preparing to fight this. Treatment will affect our family, personally
and financially. i'm concerned about the impact it will have. i'm afraid
of the rollercoaster ride of feeling well and really unwell
that will come with healing myself. i'm afraid of infusing my body with
a rather long term high dose of what i consider poison (antibiotic
seems more like pesticide than medicine, to me). Don't think this
hippie hasn't thought of alternatives. Sir says "better living through
chemistry" and even though the doctor is all for integrative medicine, i
will at most be allowed to augment homeopathically.
For all my fears, i feel incredibly blessed. i could have been
condemned to a lifetime of pain, exhaustion, and lower quality of life.
Being reinfected has given me a chance to avert that fate, rectify a
mistake of five years ago, and possibly reverse some of the damage.
There's been many a night where i've moved to kneel at Sir's feet, and
He could see the pain on my face, for all my efforts to shield it. He
would command me to sit, instead. Hopefully, with a lot of hard work,
there will come a day where there won't be any pain to try to hide.
Hell, i may even start rock climbing again! ^.^
Sir is commanding me to "sit" on a much more global scale. i'm not
allowed to do much of anything. He's mixing His own drinks. i think i
would struggle more with it if i could hold my arms up for a whole
minute. i guess i would be on here more, with all the
sitting, but i can't seem to defog my brain enough to participate meaningfully in any discussions.
If all that couldn't be unfortunate enough, with the uncertainty of
the scope and scale of the Herxheimer reaction and the general ickiness
that comes with twice daily antibiotics, i will be unable to attend my
super-duper excellent favourite thing of the WHOLE YEAR, Rope Camp. i
has a major sad.
At this time, all i can focus on is this path to healing. There's a
long hard road ahead of us, and i ask that my friends send me some love
and light, i need it now.